no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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