Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
