I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
