I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
