But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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