we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
