I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
