Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
