I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
look no pants
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
