Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
