Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
