Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
