Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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