i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize