We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
