omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
