just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
