Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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