Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
