ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
