Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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