Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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