it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
