oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
