covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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