Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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