singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
