And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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