This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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