drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
