I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
