STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize