I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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