he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
