I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wish I only lived at night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
