But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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