they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
