This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's just like the Real World with babies
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When are your genitals available?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
