Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize