"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
