i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
