Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
