ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
