You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
