i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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