Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
