this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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