love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
