Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
