PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Randomize
