it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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