We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
