Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
