Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
