love makes seman taste better
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I believe in your delicious
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
