just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
