addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
