did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
