dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Randomize
