rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
