Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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