If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
