Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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