How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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