so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
