weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
